Head-games. (with a capital H)

“Alone from the voices, I call my very own…”

My confidence fails me,
Every now and again;
When it strays, it’s replaced with
Paranoia, not zen.

Happiness, laughter …
All my sunny rays,
Have turned to this uninviting,
Hazy shade of grey.

IMG_6912
Photo Edited by JuSteph4All

I’m unlovable, uncaring,
UN-everything
, it’s true …
however,
If I’m so NOT anything,
Then how am I blue?

My sense of humor,
Nowhere to be found.
It’s in there somewhere,
It’s buried deep down.

Why does this happen?
Is it only me?
I’m someone who’s typically filled
With smiles, life and glee.

I’m hideous, you say?
Right down to the bone …
If I’m so NOT anything,
Why can’t I be alone?

Alone from the voices
I call my very own …
The words are so harsh!
Haven’t I grown?!

GO! Go away!

I HAVE grown, but

To you, this I say ..

Yes, go away, however
Don’t go too far,
As tomorrow is another day …
For my head and heart to spar.

Do I really want you gone?
Why can’t you read my mind?
For there are billions of words that swirl in my head,
Go ahead … look, seek, tell me what you find.

It’s blank you say?
Whatever. Look deeper
See clearer … Dig through,
And please tell me, am I a keeper?

NO!

NO?

I am a keeper …
Of secrets, of stories,
Of money, of time,
I am the keeper of poetics that rhyme.

It’s not enough. It is enough.
I’m not. I am.
This brain of mine, is rough …
however,
For today, I AM ENOUGH!

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Photo taken by JuSteph4All

 

Author: JuSteph4All

I have an extreme love for conveying life in colorful words! Since I can remember, I have loved everything about writing, creating.. Bringing my mind to different places. Better yet ... having someone else's mind go to another place, makes me happiest!! I'm a wife, daughter, and most importantly ... Mom. I live and breathe for my family. I love to write, read, ride my bike, hang at the lake, NYC, being outside, people watching ;) My guilty pleasure is trashy, cheesey romance novels lol All in all, I'm pretty laid back... walking through this thing called life!! 🤗

9 thoughts on “Head-games. (with a capital H)”

    1. There’s an element of mystique, but also great truth in your writing which intrigues me. I find that sometimes, but it’s rare. No bullshit. So refreshing! xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. WOW! Thank you so much!! You’re like my very own personal motivator … I may have to put you on my payroll, soon! lol I had “library duty” at my daughter’s school this morning, when I first saw your comment, and I let out a little squeal of happiness, and then had to explain to the little ones why I was so happy! Their little eyes were so intrigued, and it was a great teaching moment … Never stop doing what you love … no matter your age, your circumstance, etc … Just don’t stop! Thank you, a million times over!! xo

        Like

      2. Gawd, that’s so cool that you told the kids…I hope used the word bullshark instead though haha x

        Ps. I do this shit for FREE! 😉

        Like

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